Dating in the Dark

ABC has a new show called "Dating in the Dark".

The idea is that three females and three males go on a rotation of dates with each other in a pitch black room. At no point do they see each other. Over the course of their stay in this house, they take personality quizzes, play games, and go on more dates in order to find who they are compatible with.

I saw the scene where the divided by gender group looked at the other group's "sleep clothes".

The men were disappointed that the women didn't have more sexy sleep attire. But let's be honest guys, what single female puts on super sexy lingerie when going to bed by herself? So they made comments on what the girls must look like based on their tank tops and flannel pants.

The women were more thrown back by stains, smell, or holes in one guys shirt. The other evidence didn't leave much to look or sniff at.

At the end of the show, based on compatibility, as a couple, they return to a dark room where they are revealed to one another. Based on everything now, the individuals decide whether they want to continue dating or not.

I thought this was really interesting! Personality tests put all the couples around 60%-70% compatibility. Which is better than 50% but still thats not even in the grade B or A range. So it makes me wonder what percentages are the best for real compatibility. Or, are we all in the 60%-70% percentile (or less) and the rest is what you make of the relationship. In other words, what you are willing to work on together, to grow as a couple.

However, regardless of percentages, sleep clothes, and the so called chemistry in the dark rooms... the physical reveal created a debacle of sorts.

(Group 1) The woman who was more so compatible with the guy with the smelly stained sleep clothes, was potentially willing to look past that if the guy was hot. She didn't say that of course, but she was extremely enthusiastic to see him. When she saw that he was scruffy faced with a bit of a beer belly... she was disappointed. In conclusion she couldn't imagine this guy "on top of her" as she put it.

The woman in this case, was determined as very cute by the scruffy guy. What I noticed about guys is that the word usage of "cute" and "sexy" often means different things. But thats a whole other blog within itself! Let's just say he was all smiles from ear to ear on this one.

(Group 2) The woman in this case was a tall, lean, beautiful redheaded woman. She made it a point to work her best attributes by dressing super feminine and sexy. The guy was short, hispanic, and attractive through the face and body for his stature. He definitely thought his female option was a major hottie! The woman however, finding the guy attractive on some level... could not get over the height being a problem.

She felt really bad for turning him down, but the entire picture wasn't enough. For her it was a question of," Is he simply "friend" material?" In my assumption, she could have sex with this guy, maybe even enjoy a fling... but for her to take it seriously, she would need more.

(Group 3) The man in this scenario is definitely good looking, but after his divorce he has decided to only date women based on looks. If they were not super model material, he would not pursue them. The woman he is compatible with in this show is physically good looking... however she does not dress to impress (she can't hold a candle to girl in Group 2). I would say she doesn't have an understanding of what looks good on her body. She is also thicker and shorter than most model type women.

However, this is the only group from the episode that decided to continue dating.

So what can we gather from this episode? It's nothing new but men are very visually inclined. They assume that the girl for them is a stereotype of female fantasy (and why shouldn't he? Women do the same in their pretend scenarios of the perfect man). She has a wardrobe to the likes of a professional prostitute, keeping every bit of her long locks in place, and make up... it's there alright! But it's not shouting out for attention, as clown make up might.

And lets face it... while I enjoy a natural clean look on my face... I do get more heads turning if I use make up to draw attention to my eyes or features. Some of us are simply too washed out without some color. Besides make up plays a psychological role in attraction... The flush of the cheeks, the reddening of the lips, bedroom eyes created by eye shadow... is a major reminder of how a girl looks during heated sex. Because thats what naturally occurs in the bedroom (blood flowing to the face etc.)... so we mimic that despite the fact that were not having an orgasm.

Women, while physical appearance is important, the aesthetics play a more crucial role. Aside from looking good he has to appeal to all five senses. He needs to smell good, taste good, sound good, and feel good. While men like this too... it's not a make or break situation for them. If a girl looks hot, he may over look the fact that she has the voice of a high pitched dolphin. He will bag her, and move on. While a woman, faced with the same, usually avoids the guy with the horse voice.

While I think (and this is just my opinion) it's a typical rule of sorts, there are exceptions... and by exceptions I mean blips on the radar. When two people can look past what they think they want, and go for what's really there. However we all don't have the luxury of "Dating in the Dark".