When I get a free weekend I'm going to visit my brother. I cant wait!
When I visit him its as though someone has pressed my reset button. We have a tradition of watching horror films together, seeing concerts, and having great conversations.
Because October is approaching were going to see if we cant make a trip up to St. Louis. Back in the day people in Hollywood had jobs in departments called "animatronics". They brought to life all kinds of creatures from the mystical to the gruesome. When CGI came into play, and everything was computer generated these people lost their jobs.
Could you imagine having a talent for something that people suddenly decided was useless, and not worth paying for anymore?
These individuals settled into the Midwest and created those "haunted houses" people tour through. These are not just any spook houses, they are award winning! "The Darkness" is nationally recognized as the BEST set of ghastly, ghostly, and terrifying fun houses in the entire U.S.
The Darkness was featured on the travel channel.... check it out!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Maybe our story isnt one that starts as most stories do
Sometimes your parents impose their weaknesses or delusions upon you. They think that because their life didn't work out the way they wanted it to, in one way or another, that you are doomed to have the same kind of regrets.
When I was younger I wanted to be an artist. I had, still have, an amazing talent for that medium. But because my parents grew up in the Midwest, because of their generation, because of their traditions... they refused to nurture or support this side of me.
On the flip side my aunt and uncle encouraged their kids, whatever passion they had... sent them where ever they needed to be to achieve their goals, and SURPRISE the kids are doing what they love.
Now that I'm going into health care a as means to have a financial backbone and steady job... I have all the support in the world from my parents. My mother is glowing because in some small way I'm following in her foot steps. Yet the light in her eyes is something that pains me because she never lit up like that when I talked about what I loved.
There are so many opportunities in the arts; be it with computers, advertising, movies, books, games, museums. Yet all my parents could believe for me is that I would be some pitiful teacher helping students with their color wheels. It's not as though my passions or talents demanded that I become a super star. In fact I just wanted to be another successful cog in the machine of my choice.
Sometimes being practical feels like a sterilization of your soul. All the stars that hung in your sky have turned to construction paper held to some black poster board with Elmer's glue. The sparkle that was life's great mystery is just another plastic tube of glitter.
I think there was a pivotal time when my parent's support would have meant everything! But I get to join the club of those individuals... the thousands of them, that had to do something someone else wanted them to do, because that's the only time they would be given a hand of help.
And maybe, that's OK. Maybe our story isn't one that starts as most stories do. Perhaps the pieces, the concepts are delivered out of order than what others might receive them.
The goal of my life is to persevere... one day I will get there. I'm not allowed to give up!
When I was younger I wanted to be an artist. I had, still have, an amazing talent for that medium. But because my parents grew up in the Midwest, because of their generation, because of their traditions... they refused to nurture or support this side of me.
On the flip side my aunt and uncle encouraged their kids, whatever passion they had... sent them where ever they needed to be to achieve their goals, and SURPRISE the kids are doing what they love.
Now that I'm going into health care a as means to have a financial backbone and steady job... I have all the support in the world from my parents. My mother is glowing because in some small way I'm following in her foot steps. Yet the light in her eyes is something that pains me because she never lit up like that when I talked about what I loved.
There are so many opportunities in the arts; be it with computers, advertising, movies, books, games, museums. Yet all my parents could believe for me is that I would be some pitiful teacher helping students with their color wheels. It's not as though my passions or talents demanded that I become a super star. In fact I just wanted to be another successful cog in the machine of my choice.
Sometimes being practical feels like a sterilization of your soul. All the stars that hung in your sky have turned to construction paper held to some black poster board with Elmer's glue. The sparkle that was life's great mystery is just another plastic tube of glitter.
I think there was a pivotal time when my parent's support would have meant everything! But I get to join the club of those individuals... the thousands of them, that had to do something someone else wanted them to do, because that's the only time they would be given a hand of help.
And maybe, that's OK. Maybe our story isn't one that starts as most stories do. Perhaps the pieces, the concepts are delivered out of order than what others might receive them.
The goal of my life is to persevere... one day I will get there. I'm not allowed to give up!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Moxie Theater
Last night I watched the movie,"World's Greatest Dad". It stars Robin Williams as a poetry teacher in high school who is raising a son by himself. What you have to understand about this film is that it's a dark comedy. Be prepared to laugh at the horror!
I wouldn't suggest reading too many reviews on the film for fear they will give up the surprise twist. Without giving away to much on the subject itself, I have to say I loved this film! It was fresh, unusual, funny... and ends relatively well!
I wouldn't suggest reading too many reviews on the film for fear they will give up the surprise twist. Without giving away to much on the subject itself, I have to say I loved this film! It was fresh, unusual, funny... and ends relatively well!
Friday, September 25, 2009
cha cha cha changes
While I was drying my hair this morning I saw something unusual...
Something sparkled under the luminescent light of my bathroom. I threw down the brush and started carefully parting the individual strands... and there it was...
My first silver hair!
I ripped that sucker right out to examine it. What the hell is going on here! It was a perfect chrome thread, almost metallic. I tossed my head every which way and didn't find another.
Sometimes getting older is creepy. I know high school wasn't exactly yesterday but this doesnt quite make sense at 29. Some of the hottest actresses and models are my age or older... I wonder if they have a secret grey hair on them. I wonder what tiny wrinkle is trying to crawl across their face.
The most important thing is to not feel old. As sad as it is, I felt really old at 16... not because of my age obviously, but because my life felt so empty. How sad everything feels when life is nothing like the movies you watch or the books you read. Somewhere along the way you have to make amends for that.
Somewhere you have to do a lot of forgiving.
Anyway, I figure I'm "officially" wise now...
Something sparkled under the luminescent light of my bathroom. I threw down the brush and started carefully parting the individual strands... and there it was...
My first silver hair!
I ripped that sucker right out to examine it. What the hell is going on here! It was a perfect chrome thread, almost metallic. I tossed my head every which way and didn't find another.
Sometimes getting older is creepy. I know high school wasn't exactly yesterday but this doesnt quite make sense at 29. Some of the hottest actresses and models are my age or older... I wonder if they have a secret grey hair on them. I wonder what tiny wrinkle is trying to crawl across their face.
The most important thing is to not feel old. As sad as it is, I felt really old at 16... not because of my age obviously, but because my life felt so empty. How sad everything feels when life is nothing like the movies you watch or the books you read. Somewhere along the way you have to make amends for that.
Somewhere you have to do a lot of forgiving.
Anyway, I figure I'm "officially" wise now...
Thursday, September 24, 2009
24/29
Today is my birthday!
The last of my twenties was handed over to me today. Twenty nine is wrapped with Egyptian papyrus, woven with gold trim, written in 1800's cursive. Its a promise, a sweetness, a complete novel of sun kissed tomorrows.
One more year, one more role in the hay with my twenties.
How good everything is!
The last of my twenties was handed over to me today. Twenty nine is wrapped with Egyptian papyrus, woven with gold trim, written in 1800's cursive. Its a promise, a sweetness, a complete novel of sun kissed tomorrows.
One more year, one more role in the hay with my twenties.
How good everything is!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The first poem I loved
A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands,
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any more than he.
I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopefull green stuff woven.
Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner's name someway in the corners, that we may see and remark, and say Whose?
Or I guess the grass is itself a child, the produced babe of the vegetation.
Or I guess it is a uniform hieroglyphic,
And it means, Sprouting alike in broad zones and narrow zones,
Growing among black folks as among white,
Kanuck, Tuckahoe, Congressman, Cuff, I give them the same, I receive them the same.
And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves.
Tenderly will I use you curling grass,
It may be you transpire from the breasts of young men,
It may be if I had known them I would have loved them,
It may be you are from old people, or from offspring taken soon out of their mothers' laps.
And here you are the mothers' laps.
This grass is very dark to be from the white heads of old mothers,
Darker than the colorless beards of old men,
Dark to come from under the faint red roofs of mouths.
O I perceive after all so many uttering tongues,
And I perceive they do not come from the roofs of mouths for nothing.
I wish I could translate the hints about the dead young men and women,
And the hints about old men and mothers, and the offspring taken soon out of their laps.
What do you think have become of the young and old men?
And what do you think have become of the women and children?
They are alive and well somewhere,
The smallest sprout shows there is really no death,
And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it,
And ceas'd the moment life appear'd.
All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,
And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.
-Walt Whitman
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any more than he.
I guess it must be the flag of my disposition, out of hopefull green stuff woven.
Or I guess it is the handkerchief of the Lord,
A scented gift and remembrancer designedly dropt,
Bearing the owner's name someway in the corners, that we may see and remark, and say Whose?
Or I guess the grass is itself a child, the produced babe of the vegetation.
Or I guess it is a uniform hieroglyphic,
And it means, Sprouting alike in broad zones and narrow zones,
Growing among black folks as among white,
Kanuck, Tuckahoe, Congressman, Cuff, I give them the same, I receive them the same.
And now it seems to me the beautiful uncut hair of graves.
Tenderly will I use you curling grass,
It may be you transpire from the breasts of young men,
It may be if I had known them I would have loved them,
It may be you are from old people, or from offspring taken soon out of their mothers' laps.
And here you are the mothers' laps.
This grass is very dark to be from the white heads of old mothers,
Darker than the colorless beards of old men,
Dark to come from under the faint red roofs of mouths.
O I perceive after all so many uttering tongues,
And I perceive they do not come from the roofs of mouths for nothing.
I wish I could translate the hints about the dead young men and women,
And the hints about old men and mothers, and the offspring taken soon out of their laps.
What do you think have become of the young and old men?
And what do you think have become of the women and children?
They are alive and well somewhere,
The smallest sprout shows there is really no death,
And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it,
And ceas'd the moment life appear'd.
All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,
And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier.
-Walt Whitman
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Idiocracy
This movie came out in 2006 and when Drury college got a hold of it, it kind of had a rush in popularity. T-shirts were made "Don't become extinct- go to college".
I mentioned the movie during my political science class and only one other person heard of it. The topic was over media and how public opinion effects politics.
In the movie Idiocracy, the stage is set so that the only population that reproduces is the unintelligent parts of society. The "smart" people don't have children because they think about whether or not they can afford a child... After a while the intelligent people become extinct and the whole world is on welfare.
Educational standards have to be lowered to allow the dumb children to pass classes. Eventually, school is useless and proper English is punishable by death.
Only a few corporations create food, nothing is grown anymore, and fast food is now delivered through a vending machine. All merchandise, clothes, and other amenities can be found in a massive warehouse that might as well be it's own city.
Its a futuristic tale about the "dumbing down" of society and what it could cost us.
In its own way, the film is highly controversial/offensive due to the fact that reproduction is seen as an act of stupidity. Lately on the news I've been reading several articles about the carbon footprint of growing populations. That by not having children, you could cut back on the green house effect.
People get their panties in a twist because you cant tell anyone directly not to have children. Or that you might want to wait till you have kids until you can afford them is apparently insulting or taboo.
But when I look at my own family, with the members in it that are purely having kids to stay on welfare or work the system... I cant help but be pissed off! Never mind what this does to the children who cant get proper attention or care because mom is more concerned with getting a gov. check, then how she's raising them.
"Octomom" has to be the worst manifestation of a society that promotes having children at any cost.
I certainly like to think that molding a human life is clearly one of he most important jobs in the world. Yet there are more tests you have to pass in order to operate a car, or get a college degree. There is no standard for having children...
I always say that your ability to have a child is no miracle... raising the child however, to be a productive member of society, is.
I mentioned the movie during my political science class and only one other person heard of it. The topic was over media and how public opinion effects politics.
In the movie Idiocracy, the stage is set so that the only population that reproduces is the unintelligent parts of society. The "smart" people don't have children because they think about whether or not they can afford a child... After a while the intelligent people become extinct and the whole world is on welfare.
Educational standards have to be lowered to allow the dumb children to pass classes. Eventually, school is useless and proper English is punishable by death.
Only a few corporations create food, nothing is grown anymore, and fast food is now delivered through a vending machine. All merchandise, clothes, and other amenities can be found in a massive warehouse that might as well be it's own city.
Its a futuristic tale about the "dumbing down" of society and what it could cost us.
In its own way, the film is highly controversial/offensive due to the fact that reproduction is seen as an act of stupidity. Lately on the news I've been reading several articles about the carbon footprint of growing populations. That by not having children, you could cut back on the green house effect.
People get their panties in a twist because you cant tell anyone directly not to have children. Or that you might want to wait till you have kids until you can afford them is apparently insulting or taboo.
But when I look at my own family, with the members in it that are purely having kids to stay on welfare or work the system... I cant help but be pissed off! Never mind what this does to the children who cant get proper attention or care because mom is more concerned with getting a gov. check, then how she's raising them.
"Octomom" has to be the worst manifestation of a society that promotes having children at any cost.
I certainly like to think that molding a human life is clearly one of he most important jobs in the world. Yet there are more tests you have to pass in order to operate a car, or get a college degree. There is no standard for having children...
I always say that your ability to have a child is no miracle... raising the child however, to be a productive member of society, is.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Focus
I always hated running! Anytime we had to do it for P.E. I dreaded it. In fact I wasn't good at many sports! No one in my family taught me how to kick a ball much less catch one. Whenever someone tossed me a set of keys and I happened to catch it... I secretly rejoiced, imagining that my secret powers had finally kicked in.
When I got to high school we had a coach that started us on 30 second runs. I didn't think I could do it, but I tried anyway. When it was kicked up to a full 60 seconds I was surprised to see that I could achieve that as well. I always tried!
At the end of the semester I was running for 8 minutes straight. When the coach acknowledged that I was achieving what hardly anyone else could, it felt amazing.
However I did not join the track team. It wasn't till 12 years later that I would genuinely try running again. My friend was a regular runner, often did marathons, and I was simply trying to jog a mile without stopping.
I asked her,"What keeps you from walking? Or stopping completely?!"
And she replied with the most profound and simple thing.
"There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who have excuses and those that have results."
Suddenly the idea of jogging a mile became a power struggle between these two concepts. Would I be full of excuses or would I have results in my running? That very evening, I jogged a mile without stopping!
That doesn't mean I had a perfect gait! It doesn't mean I was on full throttle. I paced myself, saying any speed was acceptable as long as I didn't walk or stop.
Then one mile became two miles!
That later became two miles with a sprint at the end.
That evolved into running around the neighborhood as much as possible, when possible. I did all of this rain or shine, with whatever bugs smacked me in the face, landed in my eye, or down my throat.
In the middle of a downpour I passed the friend that inspired me to hit my first mile. We were so focused that it wasn't till the last second that we realised who the other person was. We smiled and had our quick hello... I was beaming.
I felt we were two warriors battling the elements, conquering that part of our psyche that could have given us a hundred excuses not to run that day.
Running is not a perfect art... I learned through trial and error how important good running shoes were. That insoles counted for a lot. So do clothes that fit tighter to your body while wicking away sweat.
I'm in no way a perfect runner or jogger. Some days I simply walk... but I do have now, what I didn't have before, and that's a love for picking up my feet and pushing my physical limits.
When I got to high school we had a coach that started us on 30 second runs. I didn't think I could do it, but I tried anyway. When it was kicked up to a full 60 seconds I was surprised to see that I could achieve that as well. I always tried!
At the end of the semester I was running for 8 minutes straight. When the coach acknowledged that I was achieving what hardly anyone else could, it felt amazing.
However I did not join the track team. It wasn't till 12 years later that I would genuinely try running again. My friend was a regular runner, often did marathons, and I was simply trying to jog a mile without stopping.
I asked her,"What keeps you from walking? Or stopping completely?!"
And she replied with the most profound and simple thing.
"There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who have excuses and those that have results."
Suddenly the idea of jogging a mile became a power struggle between these two concepts. Would I be full of excuses or would I have results in my running? That very evening, I jogged a mile without stopping!
That doesn't mean I had a perfect gait! It doesn't mean I was on full throttle. I paced myself, saying any speed was acceptable as long as I didn't walk or stop.
Then one mile became two miles!
That later became two miles with a sprint at the end.
That evolved into running around the neighborhood as much as possible, when possible. I did all of this rain or shine, with whatever bugs smacked me in the face, landed in my eye, or down my throat.
In the middle of a downpour I passed the friend that inspired me to hit my first mile. We were so focused that it wasn't till the last second that we realised who the other person was. We smiled and had our quick hello... I was beaming.
I felt we were two warriors battling the elements, conquering that part of our psyche that could have given us a hundred excuses not to run that day.
Running is not a perfect art... I learned through trial and error how important good running shoes were. That insoles counted for a lot. So do clothes that fit tighter to your body while wicking away sweat.
I'm in no way a perfect runner or jogger. Some days I simply walk... but I do have now, what I didn't have before, and that's a love for picking up my feet and pushing my physical limits.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Irony
My friend recently sent me that e-mail that's going around with the images of people in Walmart. There is a website that hosts these images and it's gained a lot of attention for how hilarious it is.
As I was scrolling through the images of poorly dressed people I thought to myself, why did she send me this? She obviously thinks it's funny... The irony is, my friend is so self conscious of her own looks, and what people might be saying about her, that I find it odd she would encourage this.
Doesn't it feel like high school, when we go out of our way to laugh at how someone is dressed?
Granted there are people who call attention to themselves, and they probably like that. You may exchange a curious look among whatever group of friends you re with, but you don't make a huge spectacle of it.
When a girl in one of my classes came in, literally pouring out of her corduroy miniskirt, and tight neon shirt, with those black metallic leggings... I thought that was a bad choice. A real bad choice. But I'm not taking her picture and posting it on the Internet. I didn't even share what I saw with my friends or family.
I couldn't help but think that she thought, she was stylish or trendy. Regardless of what this girl thought of herself, when you get out of high school and you continue to see people like that... you drop your antics. You don't point and stare, you don't call them out.
And I promise you every town has its very own Elvis impersonator!
When you get into bigger cities you will see wilder people. I wonder how the people of San Francisco view the people who go to Walmart. A city that's busting with colorful characters, flamboyant parades, and a lot of skin. Go to poorer countries like Brazil, maybe you wear whats available even if its laughable. How many judgements are passed on fashion sense?
I'm not saying you cant assess your observations of others... we can afford the privilege to discern what we would or wouldn't wear. But to make clowns of ourselves by picking people apart is the kind of fashion for the soul that's always ugly.
What my friend doesn't know, the one that sent me the e-mail... The evening she walked into my place of work with a rather spandex top that showed off every unwanted curve in her body... my co-worker (who didn't know she was my friend) said,"She definitely should not be wearing that kind of top!"
The truth is, I know... spandex is a privilege, not a right. But I also know my friend is an individual that I love.
In conclusion, there will be those that stand out for the unusual things they wear. There will be things that they wear that go against all sense and reason. It may perplex us, concern us, it may even frighten us... but to take people's picture (even if what they are wearing is beyond stupid) without their knowing so you can scrutinize them later is ... so petty.
As I was scrolling through the images of poorly dressed people I thought to myself, why did she send me this? She obviously thinks it's funny... The irony is, my friend is so self conscious of her own looks, and what people might be saying about her, that I find it odd she would encourage this.
Doesn't it feel like high school, when we go out of our way to laugh at how someone is dressed?
Granted there are people who call attention to themselves, and they probably like that. You may exchange a curious look among whatever group of friends you re with, but you don't make a huge spectacle of it.
When a girl in one of my classes came in, literally pouring out of her corduroy miniskirt, and tight neon shirt, with those black metallic leggings... I thought that was a bad choice. A real bad choice. But I'm not taking her picture and posting it on the Internet. I didn't even share what I saw with my friends or family.
I couldn't help but think that she thought, she was stylish or trendy. Regardless of what this girl thought of herself, when you get out of high school and you continue to see people like that... you drop your antics. You don't point and stare, you don't call them out.
And I promise you every town has its very own Elvis impersonator!
When you get into bigger cities you will see wilder people. I wonder how the people of San Francisco view the people who go to Walmart. A city that's busting with colorful characters, flamboyant parades, and a lot of skin. Go to poorer countries like Brazil, maybe you wear whats available even if its laughable. How many judgements are passed on fashion sense?
I'm not saying you cant assess your observations of others... we can afford the privilege to discern what we would or wouldn't wear. But to make clowns of ourselves by picking people apart is the kind of fashion for the soul that's always ugly.
What my friend doesn't know, the one that sent me the e-mail... The evening she walked into my place of work with a rather spandex top that showed off every unwanted curve in her body... my co-worker (who didn't know she was my friend) said,"She definitely should not be wearing that kind of top!"
The truth is, I know... spandex is a privilege, not a right. But I also know my friend is an individual that I love.
In conclusion, there will be those that stand out for the unusual things they wear. There will be things that they wear that go against all sense and reason. It may perplex us, concern us, it may even frighten us... but to take people's picture (even if what they are wearing is beyond stupid) without their knowing so you can scrutinize them later is ... so petty.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Green Apple Saturday
Today started off with coffee and the usual news. Someone was murdered, someone died on the road, politics raged, compartmentalised tidbits on health, fashion, entertainment, decorated the news like Christmas lights. Of course Al Roker delevered the weather.
That's when it started to downpour.
Autumn is a sleepy kind of lover that makes you brunch, then asks you to return to bed. We rest with the windows open so we can hear the rain, so we can smell the spicy decay of summer. I only pretend to look content, knowing very well all the things that ought to be done.
The floor could be swept, the laundry put away, homework could be studied and checked off my list. I could be cutting green apples instead of baking chocolate chip cookies.
But today, I know nothing of reason or regret. I unzip my wet coat, slip off my squeeking shoes and ask that the sofa be forgiving... seeing as I'm still dirty. Seeing that I'm not a proper woman with my abundant lack of caring.
That's when it started to downpour.
Autumn is a sleepy kind of lover that makes you brunch, then asks you to return to bed. We rest with the windows open so we can hear the rain, so we can smell the spicy decay of summer. I only pretend to look content, knowing very well all the things that ought to be done.
The floor could be swept, the laundry put away, homework could be studied and checked off my list. I could be cutting green apples instead of baking chocolate chip cookies.
But today, I know nothing of reason or regret. I unzip my wet coat, slip off my squeeking shoes and ask that the sofa be forgiving... seeing as I'm still dirty. Seeing that I'm not a proper woman with my abundant lack of caring.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Teachers should teach
I think I've heard enough about teachers presuming to believe their students are stupid. As a result they don't care to teach. They just slop around, don't ask engaging questions, don't cover the assigned work, or they half ass their presentations.
Here is my point.
If you think your students are stupid, stop your complaining and TEACH. You get paid either way! Do your JOB! The government dollars, personal dollars, taxpayer dollars, all go towards individuals to perform the duties that are expected.
If you are so sad and pathetic about how students are, then quit! Find another school or another line of work.
I don't pay my money, or think that the government spends money, so that teachers can bring all their personal problems to you. The world is bigger than that, teaching is BIGGER than that. If you don't have a passion to inspire students, set their hearts on fire, and produce new materials for them to broaden their scope of understanding...
Then none of us need to go to school.
We could learn more by being outside of it.
If you cant enjoy your job, if you cant perform, if your baggage is heavier than your ability to push through difficulties... then teachers are a lost cause. Not students!
Here is my point.
If you think your students are stupid, stop your complaining and TEACH. You get paid either way! Do your JOB! The government dollars, personal dollars, taxpayer dollars, all go towards individuals to perform the duties that are expected.
If you are so sad and pathetic about how students are, then quit! Find another school or another line of work.
I don't pay my money, or think that the government spends money, so that teachers can bring all their personal problems to you. The world is bigger than that, teaching is BIGGER than that. If you don't have a passion to inspire students, set their hearts on fire, and produce new materials for them to broaden their scope of understanding...
Then none of us need to go to school.
We could learn more by being outside of it.
If you cant enjoy your job, if you cant perform, if your baggage is heavier than your ability to push through difficulties... then teachers are a lost cause. Not students!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Mathematical Relief and Chemical Poetry
Math was not a favorite subject of mine growing up. In fact my whole educational career is marred by "learning disability" classes and summer school. I wont bore you with the details and the trauma associated with it.
But what possible light I see at the end of the tunnel...
So far in my math class in college I've been able to grasp more than I anticipated. In fact I'm doing pretty well! What is going on?! Aside from the teacher explaining things so clearly, laying out various options to do a particular problem, I truly believe being "older" has helped.
As so many leading professionals in health, science, and psychology, state- the frontal lobe of the brain (that which is the CEO for reasoning and decision making) doesn't completely firm up till after you're 21 years old. It's no wonder why so many teenagers make poor choices or have trouble comprehending certain facts (You may not surive all that hill topping) . Never mind how emotional we are through all that puberty.
What if, all the concepts we struggled with through high school were more so a reflection of our lack of development than our incapability to learn?
I'd also have to say that a life lived with experience behind you also helps you relate more to the things you are absorbing. Personally, math is on a planet all it's own when it comes to finding answers. In other words the answers to a math problem are not contrived from some emotional response.
How refreshing it is to find something void of personal bias or prejudice. Math is a kind of "common sense" that is so rarely projected from humanity, it might as well be called a super power.
When it came time to study Chemistry in my Anatomy and Physiology class, I was prepared to do some weeping. Instead when we started talking about atoms, I saw "personalities". You see, all atoms are electrically balanced yet so many are longing, yearning for that "special someone" to make them complete.
Actually some atoms are pretty polyamourus! Other atoms are single, content on not looking for their "other half". In other words, by applying human characteristics to something that seems sterilised of soul... I'm able to understand it! I don't think I'd be able to do this at all had I not experienced life, growing an appreciation for poetic connections and good story telling. To have lived life outside my small town, to grow up under many challenges and influences.
Beautiful and poetic things occur in our body on a microscopic level. It's funny and humbling, as we are so unaware of whats going on because we cant see or feel the microscopic interactions.
And yet there it is, a sweet irony. We are often oblivious to this perfectly orchestrated dance -all this work that allows us the chance to take so much for granted.
But what possible light I see at the end of the tunnel...
So far in my math class in college I've been able to grasp more than I anticipated. In fact I'm doing pretty well! What is going on?! Aside from the teacher explaining things so clearly, laying out various options to do a particular problem, I truly believe being "older" has helped.
As so many leading professionals in health, science, and psychology, state- the frontal lobe of the brain (that which is the CEO for reasoning and decision making) doesn't completely firm up till after you're 21 years old. It's no wonder why so many teenagers make poor choices or have trouble comprehending certain facts (You may not surive all that hill topping) . Never mind how emotional we are through all that puberty.
What if, all the concepts we struggled with through high school were more so a reflection of our lack of development than our incapability to learn?
I'd also have to say that a life lived with experience behind you also helps you relate more to the things you are absorbing. Personally, math is on a planet all it's own when it comes to finding answers. In other words the answers to a math problem are not contrived from some emotional response.
How refreshing it is to find something void of personal bias or prejudice. Math is a kind of "common sense" that is so rarely projected from humanity, it might as well be called a super power.
When it came time to study Chemistry in my Anatomy and Physiology class, I was prepared to do some weeping. Instead when we started talking about atoms, I saw "personalities". You see, all atoms are electrically balanced yet so many are longing, yearning for that "special someone" to make them complete.
Actually some atoms are pretty polyamourus! Other atoms are single, content on not looking for their "other half". In other words, by applying human characteristics to something that seems sterilised of soul... I'm able to understand it! I don't think I'd be able to do this at all had I not experienced life, growing an appreciation for poetic connections and good story telling. To have lived life outside my small town, to grow up under many challenges and influences.
Beautiful and poetic things occur in our body on a microscopic level. It's funny and humbling, as we are so unaware of whats going on because we cant see or feel the microscopic interactions.
And yet there it is, a sweet irony. We are often oblivious to this perfectly orchestrated dance -all this work that allows us the chance to take so much for granted.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
All the fury
When you consider some major celebrity outbursts as of late you might think of Tiger Woods, Serena Williams, Kanye West, and Joe Wilson.
I often encourage "anger" as an emotion that deserves attention and expression. Mostly because if you suppress it, it can do equally damaging things. But just how ugly is it, when you catch yourself doing something so stupid?
If I could record my thoughts while I'm driving in the car, and play them back to random strangers... they'd think I was the most hateful person in the world. What is it personally costing us to be this way?
I can hardly watch the news without getting fired up about something beyond my reach, say, or control. We ought to be very tired by now of all the parents who can't parent their children by turning off the TV. Or of all the people who signed up for credit cards, making purchases beyond their means to pay back. Nevermind all the people who chose fast food meals, doughnuts for breakfast, and their carbonated drinks... then complain about how pitiful and unhealthy they are.
When did we decide to give up our personal power, so we could resign ourselves of all accountability?
When did we have to make our problems, other people's problems? And seriously, why do we adopt complicated scenarios that have nothing to do with us?
Instead of telling people,"This is your problem, you own it, now you got to deal with it yourself." We feel sorry for them, we enable them further and tell them life is not fair. If people are going to make excuses for you all your life, then why grow up at all? Why not stay in a diaper?
Sure there are exceptions, and I hate to have to type out a disclaimer for the people who are swept up by unforseen forces. But this is why it's called an exception and not the rule.
Learning not to adopt other people's drama and problems in a culture that often encourages it, is something I still strive for. There can be so many legitimate and arbitrary things to become irritated with... every day is an oppertunity to get pissed off...
But why? When wearing that emotion can be so expensive.
I often encourage "anger" as an emotion that deserves attention and expression. Mostly because if you suppress it, it can do equally damaging things. But just how ugly is it, when you catch yourself doing something so stupid?
If I could record my thoughts while I'm driving in the car, and play them back to random strangers... they'd think I was the most hateful person in the world. What is it personally costing us to be this way?
I can hardly watch the news without getting fired up about something beyond my reach, say, or control. We ought to be very tired by now of all the parents who can't parent their children by turning off the TV. Or of all the people who signed up for credit cards, making purchases beyond their means to pay back. Nevermind all the people who chose fast food meals, doughnuts for breakfast, and their carbonated drinks... then complain about how pitiful and unhealthy they are.
When did we decide to give up our personal power, so we could resign ourselves of all accountability?
When did we have to make our problems, other people's problems? And seriously, why do we adopt complicated scenarios that have nothing to do with us?
Instead of telling people,"This is your problem, you own it, now you got to deal with it yourself." We feel sorry for them, we enable them further and tell them life is not fair. If people are going to make excuses for you all your life, then why grow up at all? Why not stay in a diaper?
Sure there are exceptions, and I hate to have to type out a disclaimer for the people who are swept up by unforseen forces. But this is why it's called an exception and not the rule.
Learning not to adopt other people's drama and problems in a culture that often encourages it, is something I still strive for. There can be so many legitimate and arbitrary things to become irritated with... every day is an oppertunity to get pissed off...
But why? When wearing that emotion can be so expensive.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
12 Solutions to Self Pity
I did not type the following but it is an excerpt from the following site.
1. Rather than run from the pain that’s troubling you, face it and use it as a catalyst for change. Use your misery as motivation for self-improvement. Find out what you are doing wrong and correct your behaviour. Become angry at your own self-defeating actions and do something about it. Yes, it’s as simple as that. Although it’s simple, change does involve more pain (no pain, no gain) because of the effort you have to make. But this type of pain is to be welcomed, for it will dissolve your misery and restore your happiness.
2. Don’t add to your suffering by comparing yourself to others. Life is not a competition; it is a garden. Every flower (person) is different but beautiful in it’s own way.
3. Stop being demanding. Stop believing the world was created to serve you. The truth is, you were created to serve it. It doesn't center around you. You're just a small (but important) part of the whole. Focus on what you can give back to life instead of what you can take from it. Make your contribution and enjoy the ride. Some whiners complain, "What's the purpose of it all? What's in it for me?" They find no meaning because they are self-centered and can't understand why the world doesn't cater to their every need. When they stop thinking of themselves they will discover meaning, for there is a whole world out there that needs their help in spreading joy.
4. Admit that many people are worse off than you; yet, they are doing better. So, follow their example and join their ranks.
5. Stop claiming the world is unfair. The only thing unfair is your distorted belief that the successes of others are due to their 'lucky breaks' and good fortune rather than their constructive action. Once you stop whining and start taking action, you will be able to join them in success.
6. True, some situations are more difficult than others, but beware of giving in to hopelessness and seeking comfort in chronic self-pity. For example, a woman married to an alcoholic that beats her five children will find it difficult to survive on her own. But for the safety of her children, she needs to let go of her fear, calmly study her options, make plans, and follow the best path available at the time, slowly working her way upward.
7. Realize that there are no failures on the road to success; there are merely a series of successive steps that must be taken and detours that must be maneuvered. 'Failure' is a term that negative thinkers attach to those steps and detours. Just as a stranger is a friend you have yet to make, ‘failure’ is a success you have yet to reach, so just keep plodding onward.
8. Understand that misery doesn't exist in the world, but in our mind. It is not our present conditions, but our reactions to those conditions that are the source of our pain. The fault lies in us. Self-pity is self-defeating; no good can come out of it, so accept responsibility and change yourself.
9. Change your focus from what you cannot do to what you can do, from what you lack to what you have, from the way things are to the way you will make them become, from the person you are to the person you plan to be, from the problems facing you to their possible solutions, and from the difficulties you're mired in to the opportunities they offer. Since we become what we think about, it is essential that we focus on the right things.
10. Use the power of your imagination to help, not hinder you. Don't accept your imagination's exaggeration of the magnitude of your problems, for if you do, you become its slave, paralyzed by fear and self-doubt. Instead, use your imagination to vizualize how wonderful things will be when you begin taking constructive action. By doing so, your imagination will become your coach, motivating you to act.
11. Change paths. Leave the Path of Self-Pity for the Path of Positive Action. Do this by asking yourself, "WHAT DO I WANT FROM LIFE? Do I want to be happier?” If so, you need to ask the next question, which is, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"
12. Finally, understand the power of choice. Choice is a door. When we open one, we slam shut another. When we open the door of Self-Pity, we slam shut the doors of Positive Action, Success, and Happiness.
Self-pity is never a helpless cause because it can always serve as a terrible example. The choice is ours, we can serve as an inspiration to others by illustrating what is possible, or we can serve as an example of what NOT to do.
1. Rather than run from the pain that’s troubling you, face it and use it as a catalyst for change. Use your misery as motivation for self-improvement. Find out what you are doing wrong and correct your behaviour. Become angry at your own self-defeating actions and do something about it. Yes, it’s as simple as that. Although it’s simple, change does involve more pain (no pain, no gain) because of the effort you have to make. But this type of pain is to be welcomed, for it will dissolve your misery and restore your happiness.
2. Don’t add to your suffering by comparing yourself to others. Life is not a competition; it is a garden. Every flower (person) is different but beautiful in it’s own way.
3. Stop being demanding. Stop believing the world was created to serve you. The truth is, you were created to serve it. It doesn't center around you. You're just a small (but important) part of the whole. Focus on what you can give back to life instead of what you can take from it. Make your contribution and enjoy the ride. Some whiners complain, "What's the purpose of it all? What's in it for me?" They find no meaning because they are self-centered and can't understand why the world doesn't cater to their every need. When they stop thinking of themselves they will discover meaning, for there is a whole world out there that needs their help in spreading joy.
4. Admit that many people are worse off than you; yet, they are doing better. So, follow their example and join their ranks.
5. Stop claiming the world is unfair. The only thing unfair is your distorted belief that the successes of others are due to their 'lucky breaks' and good fortune rather than their constructive action. Once you stop whining and start taking action, you will be able to join them in success.
6. True, some situations are more difficult than others, but beware of giving in to hopelessness and seeking comfort in chronic self-pity. For example, a woman married to an alcoholic that beats her five children will find it difficult to survive on her own. But for the safety of her children, she needs to let go of her fear, calmly study her options, make plans, and follow the best path available at the time, slowly working her way upward.
7. Realize that there are no failures on the road to success; there are merely a series of successive steps that must be taken and detours that must be maneuvered. 'Failure' is a term that negative thinkers attach to those steps and detours. Just as a stranger is a friend you have yet to make, ‘failure’ is a success you have yet to reach, so just keep plodding onward.
8. Understand that misery doesn't exist in the world, but in our mind. It is not our present conditions, but our reactions to those conditions that are the source of our pain. The fault lies in us. Self-pity is self-defeating; no good can come out of it, so accept responsibility and change yourself.
9. Change your focus from what you cannot do to what you can do, from what you lack to what you have, from the way things are to the way you will make them become, from the person you are to the person you plan to be, from the problems facing you to their possible solutions, and from the difficulties you're mired in to the opportunities they offer. Since we become what we think about, it is essential that we focus on the right things.
10. Use the power of your imagination to help, not hinder you. Don't accept your imagination's exaggeration of the magnitude of your problems, for if you do, you become its slave, paralyzed by fear and self-doubt. Instead, use your imagination to vizualize how wonderful things will be when you begin taking constructive action. By doing so, your imagination will become your coach, motivating you to act.
11. Change paths. Leave the Path of Self-Pity for the Path of Positive Action. Do this by asking yourself, "WHAT DO I WANT FROM LIFE? Do I want to be happier?” If so, you need to ask the next question, which is, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"
12. Finally, understand the power of choice. Choice is a door. When we open one, we slam shut another. When we open the door of Self-Pity, we slam shut the doors of Positive Action, Success, and Happiness.
Self-pity is never a helpless cause because it can always serve as a terrible example. The choice is ours, we can serve as an inspiration to others by illustrating what is possible, or we can serve as an example of what NOT to do.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Today in class
In class we had to mention a bunch of "what ifs".
One of those that I suggested is,"What if your future self could speak to your younger self?"
The idea came from reading the book "What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self". The book takes many successful women, gives a short history on their life, and then the letter that they wrote to their younger selves.
I cant say all entries were worth the read but a few stood out. When I think of what I could be saying now to my teenage self, I'd have this well thought out, and "better" plan of doing things. While I was mowing the lawn I thought about it in detail...
Can I guarantee that life would be better?
I guess it depends on your amount of regret. Sometimes I regret that my life had not been more predictable or traditional. Had I not so many obstacles and personal challenges to overcome I could have succeeded at other things.
Maybe my message from the future would not be so detail or goal oriented. Maybe I could be more like some wise Yoda, offering up fortune cookie messages that anyone could pull from some lame astrological sign post.
Maybe I wouldn't offer advice or wisdom at all. Perhaps I'd be a kinder friend to my younger self in those times of uncertainty. I'd brush my twenty-something self off and drag her to fun places, offer her book suggestions, and tease about upcoming movies that occur ten years from now.
I hope so... I really hope so.
One of those that I suggested is,"What if your future self could speak to your younger self?"
The idea came from reading the book "What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self". The book takes many successful women, gives a short history on their life, and then the letter that they wrote to their younger selves.
I cant say all entries were worth the read but a few stood out. When I think of what I could be saying now to my teenage self, I'd have this well thought out, and "better" plan of doing things. While I was mowing the lawn I thought about it in detail...
- Graduate high school your junior year and immediately enroll into community college. Get your basics out of the way! When you are done with that go to MSU, build an art portfolio, go to advanced art schools in California.
- At any cost, do not fall in love with "what's his name". But do take advantage of his resources.
- Don't get tied up with the BIG questions right now. Also, forget relationships, seriously, they don't make the world go round.
Can I guarantee that life would be better?
I guess it depends on your amount of regret. Sometimes I regret that my life had not been more predictable or traditional. Had I not so many obstacles and personal challenges to overcome I could have succeeded at other things.
Maybe my message from the future would not be so detail or goal oriented. Maybe I could be more like some wise Yoda, offering up fortune cookie messages that anyone could pull from some lame astrological sign post.
Maybe I wouldn't offer advice or wisdom at all. Perhaps I'd be a kinder friend to my younger self in those times of uncertainty. I'd brush my twenty-something self off and drag her to fun places, offer her book suggestions, and tease about upcoming movies that occur ten years from now.
I hope so... I really hope so.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Wild Thing
I'm hoping this movie is as enchanting as the first Never Ending Story. Back in the day when graphics were limited, we had to count on good story telling. Now that graphics are so fantastic, we produce movies with no story telling at all. We are easily taken over by the visuals. Which is highly disappointing.
And in case you were wondering what James Cameron has been up to since the movie Titanic, take a look at this! I hear its been 12 years in the making!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Community College
What does it mean to go to community college? I don't know if anyone else has noticed but there is a social or cultural taboo attached to it. When I was in high school, the idea of going to community college sounded more like an insult than a path to my future.
When I asked my friends, under the hypothetical that they had children to send to college, and money was not an issue, where would you send them? It was noted that "private college" would be the ideal. Seeing as just the name of Harvard, Yale, Princeton, often makes hiring companies look twice at you. A certain pedigree of education that's seen as "purebred".
In more recent news an article titled "Which High School Students Are Most likely to Graduate From College?" the following is quoted:
"Today's community colleges are not the best solution: Bright, well-prepared community college students are 36 percent less likely to make it through to a bachelor's than similarly qualified students who start their degrees at four-year schools."
Deep within myself, I cant help but feel that all children should have the best of education. How much money your family has should not determine the quality of education you receive. And yet, we see many individuals who have started from nothing, lived in ghettos, or spent most of their young life trying to undo whatever traumas they experienced, to come out highly successful and recognized.
Where we come from , is not nearly as important as where we are going.
For some community college students, it is not expected that we will succeed. But I believe we are the very diamonds in the rough that inspires the story of life. We are poetry in action!
Friday, September 11, 2009
The apple falls far away from the tree
What you didn't know is that the 5 seeds in every apple, grow an entirely different and distinct tree than the one it comes from. In other words, a Granny Smith does not spawn more Granny Smith apple trees. There was only ONE in existence found in Australia in 1868.
For every apple thats been given a house hold name, there existed ONE tree that produced that original fruit and flavor.
Every Red Delicious (Iowa, 1880) Golden Delicious (West Virginia, 1891) McIntosh Red (Ontario, 1811) has been cloned since it's conception by means of "grafting". Discovered by the Chinese (sometime before 2000 BC) a piece of apple tree bark is inserted into some other random tree, producing a clone of the other desired apple tree.
When you bite into an apple, you are tasting the one and only of it's kind in all apple bearing history.
Those five seeds I mentioned, if you planted them, would be called wildlings. Producing an entirely new sect of apple, in taste, color, and size.
In the United States it was John Chapman who propagated wildlings across the new frontier. A man known to run bare foot, live in the wild, corresponding peacefully between Native Americans and his own kin. There's quite a bit of mysticism surrounding Johnny Appleseed as well as a little controversy.
Grapes had a terrible survival rate in North America (at that time) so wine was very hard to get ahold of. So most alcohol was produced from apples. Apple juice fermented into cider (it wasn't till much later that you could keep apple juice from fermenting), and cider could be turned into brandy. Other methods were used to produce a stronger alcohol content... otherwise corn was often used to produce moonshine or whiskey.
In other words, the drifter John Chapman, was financially wealthy. Selling small wildlings and herbs to those conquering the west. Today there are over 2,000 known varieties of apples in the United States.
For every apple thats been given a house hold name, there existed ONE tree that produced that original fruit and flavor.
Every Red Delicious (Iowa, 1880) Golden Delicious (West Virginia, 1891) McIntosh Red (Ontario, 1811) has been cloned since it's conception by means of "grafting". Discovered by the Chinese (sometime before 2000 BC) a piece of apple tree bark is inserted into some other random tree, producing a clone of the other desired apple tree.
When you bite into an apple, you are tasting the one and only of it's kind in all apple bearing history.
Those five seeds I mentioned, if you planted them, would be called wildlings. Producing an entirely new sect of apple, in taste, color, and size.
In the United States it was John Chapman who propagated wildlings across the new frontier. A man known to run bare foot, live in the wild, corresponding peacefully between Native Americans and his own kin. There's quite a bit of mysticism surrounding Johnny Appleseed as well as a little controversy.
Grapes had a terrible survival rate in North America (at that time) so wine was very hard to get ahold of. So most alcohol was produced from apples. Apple juice fermented into cider (it wasn't till much later that you could keep apple juice from fermenting), and cider could be turned into brandy. Other methods were used to produce a stronger alcohol content... otherwise corn was often used to produce moonshine or whiskey.
In other words, the drifter John Chapman, was financially wealthy. Selling small wildlings and herbs to those conquering the west. Today there are over 2,000 known varieties of apples in the United States.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Jubilee
You may be in New York clutching your heart but I'm down in the valley with the banjo cats. Were in deep, licking our lips, dancing to the Moon Shadow Dodge. We go traipsing in the bugwallow to drink long island teas from the maple wood all thick and sappy.
It will be a long overture till the night crawlers come out to sing with us. Punctuating the firefall with that Georgia bred Speed Crackle. But you wouldn't know nothing bout that... in your fancy pants and slick goodbyes and "Oh hey there" hellos.
You don't know nothin! Not of pretty girls or good music. So I suppose we should feel sorry for you... praying you don't find yourself in all the wrong places.
But thats where I leave you, clutching your heart, taking three steps back and going nowhere.
copyright(C)Abby Johnson
(aka Elliot Spicer)
It will be a long overture till the night crawlers come out to sing with us. Punctuating the firefall with that Georgia bred Speed Crackle. But you wouldn't know nothing bout that... in your fancy pants and slick goodbyes and "Oh hey there" hellos.
You don't know nothin! Not of pretty girls or good music. So I suppose we should feel sorry for you... praying you don't find yourself in all the wrong places.
But thats where I leave you, clutching your heart, taking three steps back and going nowhere.
copyright(C)Abby Johnson
(aka Elliot Spicer)
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Deadwood: First Season Review
I finished the first season of Deadwood and I have to say, this 2004 HBO series has really caught my interest.
The story takes place during the late 1800's. The west at this time was not governed very well so many places did not have laws. It was easy to kill someone, burn a barn down, or rob someone blind... and get away with it.
The story itself resides in the town of Deadwood Dakota, but most of the interaction takes place in a brothel/saloon. Anywhere where people can gamble, screw, and drink. Violence in Deadwood is a constant, so is swearing... I wish I had a tally for every time someone said "cocksucker".
The hardships of that era are also highlighted... a lack of medicine or proper hygiene, open cruelty towards the sick or handicapped. The rights or roles of women limited to being a prostitute or wife. I don't know that either was better considering you were often denied a proper education and a man's actions (no matter how cruel or unfair) were always justified.
Yet this show is so engaging! Dark humor is juxtaposed to actual cruelty... so at times I'm not sure if I should laugh or cover my eyes. There is friendship, loyalties, and endearing compassion that is neither cliche or under used. Particularly in the case of the town pastor who you learn to love as his health fails...
The town doctor who often looks as though he's going mad, has you empathizing with his plight and limited capacity to help others. (Limited in the sense that modern medicine is clearly not like it is today).
Jewel, the "gimp" as she is referred to has such a tiny role in the series... yet towards the end of the season, I'm so moved by how they write her character. Revealing the sometimes frail and precious notions of joy.
Famous, historical characters are introduced such as Wild Bill Hickok. Another by the name of Calamity Jane... surprisingly through some research, a lot of what occurred in the series is close to actual events.
In fact Al Swearengen, was indeed a historical figure that operated a brothel by the name of the "Gem Saloon". The character is played by Ian McShane... who I have decided, despite being 67 years old... is one of the hottest old dudes I've seen in a while. Even with his paunchy furry gut! I looked at pictures of him when he was younger, and his lack of wrinkles turn me off.
As far as young guys go, Timothy Olyphant plays the sexy Seth Bullock. A lawman who eventually becomes sheriff of Deadwood. He has an overriding sense for law and justice, unable to escape the role as it is so much needed. When he passed away (September 23, 1919) he was buried alongside Wild Bill Hickok, and Calamity Jane.
What I enjoy most about this first season is the historical atmosphere that appears true to the times. You can almost taste the grit in your teeth, the pinch in your boots, your saddle sore legs. There is all this effort, from enforcing the law to printing a newspaper, that by all accounts seems like a useless undertaking for all the work it requires.
The characters, the gruesome and the charming, have been written with careful consideration. People like Seth Bullock, as honorable as he is... is brutal when delivering justice. Al Swearengen who is well versed in villainy, is still a man with weaknesses, with passing seconds of humanity... that makes watching him from a distance very enjoyable.
The story takes place during the late 1800's. The west at this time was not governed very well so many places did not have laws. It was easy to kill someone, burn a barn down, or rob someone blind... and get away with it.
The story itself resides in the town of Deadwood Dakota, but most of the interaction takes place in a brothel/saloon. Anywhere where people can gamble, screw, and drink. Violence in Deadwood is a constant, so is swearing... I wish I had a tally for every time someone said "cocksucker".
The hardships of that era are also highlighted... a lack of medicine or proper hygiene, open cruelty towards the sick or handicapped. The rights or roles of women limited to being a prostitute or wife. I don't know that either was better considering you were often denied a proper education and a man's actions (no matter how cruel or unfair) were always justified.
Yet this show is so engaging! Dark humor is juxtaposed to actual cruelty... so at times I'm not sure if I should laugh or cover my eyes. There is friendship, loyalties, and endearing compassion that is neither cliche or under used. Particularly in the case of the town pastor who you learn to love as his health fails...
The town doctor who often looks as though he's going mad, has you empathizing with his plight and limited capacity to help others. (Limited in the sense that modern medicine is clearly not like it is today).
Jewel, the "gimp" as she is referred to has such a tiny role in the series... yet towards the end of the season, I'm so moved by how they write her character. Revealing the sometimes frail and precious notions of joy.
Famous, historical characters are introduced such as Wild Bill Hickok. Another by the name of Calamity Jane... surprisingly through some research, a lot of what occurred in the series is close to actual events.
In fact Al Swearengen, was indeed a historical figure that operated a brothel by the name of the "Gem Saloon". The character is played by Ian McShane... who I have decided, despite being 67 years old... is one of the hottest old dudes I've seen in a while. Even with his paunchy furry gut! I looked at pictures of him when he was younger, and his lack of wrinkles turn me off.
As far as young guys go, Timothy Olyphant plays the sexy Seth Bullock. A lawman who eventually becomes sheriff of Deadwood. He has an overriding sense for law and justice, unable to escape the role as it is so much needed. When he passed away (September 23, 1919) he was buried alongside Wild Bill Hickok, and Calamity Jane.
What I enjoy most about this first season is the historical atmosphere that appears true to the times. You can almost taste the grit in your teeth, the pinch in your boots, your saddle sore legs. There is all this effort, from enforcing the law to printing a newspaper, that by all accounts seems like a useless undertaking for all the work it requires.
The characters, the gruesome and the charming, have been written with careful consideration. People like Seth Bullock, as honorable as he is... is brutal when delivering justice. Al Swearengen who is well versed in villainy, is still a man with weaknesses, with passing seconds of humanity... that makes watching him from a distance very enjoyable.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog
If you have not seen this Internet movie, then I suggest you give it a chance!
During the writers strike a while back, funds and other support were limited. So the Whedon Brothers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly) came up with the follow show!
Amusing and full of music, Dr. Horrible is a cult classic with a large following of fans. http://www.drhorrible.com/mushortio.html
During the writers strike a while back, funds and other support were limited. So the Whedon Brothers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly) came up with the follow show!
Amusing and full of music, Dr. Horrible is a cult classic with a large following of fans. http://www.drhorrible.com/mushortio.html
Monday, September 7, 2009
Dating in the Dark
ABC has a new show called "Dating in the Dark".
The idea is that three females and three males go on a rotation of dates with each other in a pitch black room. At no point do they see each other. Over the course of their stay in this house, they take personality quizzes, play games, and go on more dates in order to find who they are compatible with.
I saw the scene where the divided by gender group looked at the other group's "sleep clothes".
The men were disappointed that the women didn't have more sexy sleep attire. But let's be honest guys, what single female puts on super sexy lingerie when going to bed by herself? So they made comments on what the girls must look like based on their tank tops and flannel pants.
The women were more thrown back by stains, smell, or holes in one guys shirt. The other evidence didn't leave much to look or sniff at.
At the end of the show, based on compatibility, as a couple, they return to a dark room where they are revealed to one another. Based on everything now, the individuals decide whether they want to continue dating or not.
I thought this was really interesting! Personality tests put all the couples around 60%-70% compatibility. Which is better than 50% but still thats not even in the grade B or A range. So it makes me wonder what percentages are the best for real compatibility. Or, are we all in the 60%-70% percentile (or less) and the rest is what you make of the relationship. In other words, what you are willing to work on together, to grow as a couple.
However, regardless of percentages, sleep clothes, and the so called chemistry in the dark rooms... the physical reveal created a debacle of sorts.
(Group 1) The woman who was more so compatible with the guy with the smelly stained sleep clothes, was potentially willing to look past that if the guy was hot. She didn't say that of course, but she was extremely enthusiastic to see him. When she saw that he was scruffy faced with a bit of a beer belly... she was disappointed. In conclusion she couldn't imagine this guy "on top of her" as she put it.
The woman in this case, was determined as very cute by the scruffy guy. What I noticed about guys is that the word usage of "cute" and "sexy" often means different things. But thats a whole other blog within itself! Let's just say he was all smiles from ear to ear on this one.
(Group 2) The woman in this case was a tall, lean, beautiful redheaded woman. She made it a point to work her best attributes by dressing super feminine and sexy. The guy was short, hispanic, and attractive through the face and body for his stature. He definitely thought his female option was a major hottie! The woman however, finding the guy attractive on some level... could not get over the height being a problem.
She felt really bad for turning him down, but the entire picture wasn't enough. For her it was a question of," Is he simply "friend" material?" In my assumption, she could have sex with this guy, maybe even enjoy a fling... but for her to take it seriously, she would need more.
(Group 3) The man in this scenario is definitely good looking, but after his divorce he has decided to only date women based on looks. If they were not super model material, he would not pursue them. The woman he is compatible with in this show is physically good looking... however she does not dress to impress (she can't hold a candle to girl in Group 2). I would say she doesn't have an understanding of what looks good on her body. She is also thicker and shorter than most model type women.
However, this is the only group from the episode that decided to continue dating.
So what can we gather from this episode? It's nothing new but men are very visually inclined. They assume that the girl for them is a stereotype of female fantasy (and why shouldn't he? Women do the same in their pretend scenarios of the perfect man). She has a wardrobe to the likes of a professional prostitute, keeping every bit of her long locks in place, and make up... it's there alright! But it's not shouting out for attention, as clown make up might.
And lets face it... while I enjoy a natural clean look on my face... I do get more heads turning if I use make up to draw attention to my eyes or features. Some of us are simply too washed out without some color. Besides make up plays a psychological role in attraction... The flush of the cheeks, the reddening of the lips, bedroom eyes created by eye shadow... is a major reminder of how a girl looks during heated sex. Because thats what naturally occurs in the bedroom (blood flowing to the face etc.)... so we mimic that despite the fact that were not having an orgasm.
Women, while physical appearance is important, the aesthetics play a more crucial role. Aside from looking good he has to appeal to all five senses. He needs to smell good, taste good, sound good, and feel good. While men like this too... it's not a make or break situation for them. If a girl looks hot, he may over look the fact that she has the voice of a high pitched dolphin. He will bag her, and move on. While a woman, faced with the same, usually avoids the guy with the horse voice.
While I think (and this is just my opinion) it's a typical rule of sorts, there are exceptions... and by exceptions I mean blips on the radar. When two people can look past what they think they want, and go for what's really there. However we all don't have the luxury of "Dating in the Dark".
The idea is that three females and three males go on a rotation of dates with each other in a pitch black room. At no point do they see each other. Over the course of their stay in this house, they take personality quizzes, play games, and go on more dates in order to find who they are compatible with.
I saw the scene where the divided by gender group looked at the other group's "sleep clothes".
The men were disappointed that the women didn't have more sexy sleep attire. But let's be honest guys, what single female puts on super sexy lingerie when going to bed by herself? So they made comments on what the girls must look like based on their tank tops and flannel pants.
The women were more thrown back by stains, smell, or holes in one guys shirt. The other evidence didn't leave much to look or sniff at.
At the end of the show, based on compatibility, as a couple, they return to a dark room where they are revealed to one another. Based on everything now, the individuals decide whether they want to continue dating or not.
I thought this was really interesting! Personality tests put all the couples around 60%-70% compatibility. Which is better than 50% but still thats not even in the grade B or A range. So it makes me wonder what percentages are the best for real compatibility. Or, are we all in the 60%-70% percentile (or less) and the rest is what you make of the relationship. In other words, what you are willing to work on together, to grow as a couple.
However, regardless of percentages, sleep clothes, and the so called chemistry in the dark rooms... the physical reveal created a debacle of sorts.
(Group 1) The woman who was more so compatible with the guy with the smelly stained sleep clothes, was potentially willing to look past that if the guy was hot. She didn't say that of course, but she was extremely enthusiastic to see him. When she saw that he was scruffy faced with a bit of a beer belly... she was disappointed. In conclusion she couldn't imagine this guy "on top of her" as she put it.
The woman in this case, was determined as very cute by the scruffy guy. What I noticed about guys is that the word usage of "cute" and "sexy" often means different things. But thats a whole other blog within itself! Let's just say he was all smiles from ear to ear on this one.
(Group 2) The woman in this case was a tall, lean, beautiful redheaded woman. She made it a point to work her best attributes by dressing super feminine and sexy. The guy was short, hispanic, and attractive through the face and body for his stature. He definitely thought his female option was a major hottie! The woman however, finding the guy attractive on some level... could not get over the height being a problem.
She felt really bad for turning him down, but the entire picture wasn't enough. For her it was a question of," Is he simply "friend" material?" In my assumption, she could have sex with this guy, maybe even enjoy a fling... but for her to take it seriously, she would need more.
(Group 3) The man in this scenario is definitely good looking, but after his divorce he has decided to only date women based on looks. If they were not super model material, he would not pursue them. The woman he is compatible with in this show is physically good looking... however she does not dress to impress (she can't hold a candle to girl in Group 2). I would say she doesn't have an understanding of what looks good on her body. She is also thicker and shorter than most model type women.
However, this is the only group from the episode that decided to continue dating.
So what can we gather from this episode? It's nothing new but men are very visually inclined. They assume that the girl for them is a stereotype of female fantasy (and why shouldn't he? Women do the same in their pretend scenarios of the perfect man). She has a wardrobe to the likes of a professional prostitute, keeping every bit of her long locks in place, and make up... it's there alright! But it's not shouting out for attention, as clown make up might.
And lets face it... while I enjoy a natural clean look on my face... I do get more heads turning if I use make up to draw attention to my eyes or features. Some of us are simply too washed out without some color. Besides make up plays a psychological role in attraction... The flush of the cheeks, the reddening of the lips, bedroom eyes created by eye shadow... is a major reminder of how a girl looks during heated sex. Because thats what naturally occurs in the bedroom (blood flowing to the face etc.)... so we mimic that despite the fact that were not having an orgasm.
Women, while physical appearance is important, the aesthetics play a more crucial role. Aside from looking good he has to appeal to all five senses. He needs to smell good, taste good, sound good, and feel good. While men like this too... it's not a make or break situation for them. If a girl looks hot, he may over look the fact that she has the voice of a high pitched dolphin. He will bag her, and move on. While a woman, faced with the same, usually avoids the guy with the horse voice.
While I think (and this is just my opinion) it's a typical rule of sorts, there are exceptions... and by exceptions I mean blips on the radar. When two people can look past what they think they want, and go for what's really there. However we all don't have the luxury of "Dating in the Dark".
Sunday, September 6, 2009
The big questions
Everyone has asked a big question at some point.
Where am I going in life?
Does existence have a purpose or a point?
What happens to us after we die?
I used to have a field day exploring these kinds of questions. Looking hard for answers, assuming if I researched enough I would find what I was looking for. Then one day, I found something that summed it up for me.
Someone said "Life" is a magic trick. God is a great magician. You cant be told how it works otherwise its no longer magic. You are not supposed to know all the answers!
That shifted the perspective for me. Instead of trying to disect life, wasting my time on intangible things, I can sit back and be appreciative. I can enjoy life for what it is, in all its mystery. It's no longer this science project that needs major disection and clear conclusions.
My need to control is exhausted. Because isnt that what all this is? All the asking? If we know everything there is to know about the unknown, we believe we can better control all aspects of our personal life. Our decisions will be better, our relationships more sound, the path will be brightly lit. We will allow ourselves to be happy and content... when we finally know.
In the case of some people, they would view themselves as better than others, because they have the answers. I've never met anyone who has the answers! What they have is their adopted sense of things- biased, flawed, human, and either creative or destructive.
That doesnt make it wrong or right, it just is what it is.
There is nothing wrong with an enquiring mind. But I do believe there is a lot to be said when you can finally sit back, amazed and inspired by the sleight of hand. To smile as an observer and participant to one of the greatest acts around.
Where am I going in life?
Does existence have a purpose or a point?
What happens to us after we die?
I used to have a field day exploring these kinds of questions. Looking hard for answers, assuming if I researched enough I would find what I was looking for. Then one day, I found something that summed it up for me.
Someone said "Life" is a magic trick. God is a great magician. You cant be told how it works otherwise its no longer magic. You are not supposed to know all the answers!
That shifted the perspective for me. Instead of trying to disect life, wasting my time on intangible things, I can sit back and be appreciative. I can enjoy life for what it is, in all its mystery. It's no longer this science project that needs major disection and clear conclusions.
My need to control is exhausted. Because isnt that what all this is? All the asking? If we know everything there is to know about the unknown, we believe we can better control all aspects of our personal life. Our decisions will be better, our relationships more sound, the path will be brightly lit. We will allow ourselves to be happy and content... when we finally know.
In the case of some people, they would view themselves as better than others, because they have the answers. I've never met anyone who has the answers! What they have is their adopted sense of things- biased, flawed, human, and either creative or destructive.
That doesnt make it wrong or right, it just is what it is.
There is nothing wrong with an enquiring mind. But I do believe there is a lot to be said when you can finally sit back, amazed and inspired by the sleight of hand. To smile as an observer and participant to one of the greatest acts around.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Music: Part 2
Sufjan Stevens: I heard of this musician several years ago, as I was rather curious about the upcoming "folk revival" genre. This is another artist that was not produced by a large label, in fact, his father helped him start the recording label "Asthmatic Kitty" in 1999.
Curious enough the label was named after one of their cats named "Sara".
I was introduced to the album "Illinois" back in 2005. The tracks of music would later be called "Album of the Year" by several media resources (Entertainment Weekly, Los Angeles Times, Pitchfork, to name a few).
So what makes this music so special? Very casually I did what anyone would do, I put this unassuming CD into my car stereo. When the first track started, everything in me paused to feel those piano notes slip under my skin. To perform miracles on a cellular level. If music can rewrite your DNA so that you just might have faith again in something beautiful, then you should listen.
But some days it's not enough to listen to music with your ears. Just as it's not enough to hear anything with the fine mechanics of organic ear drums. I think some things should only be processed by your soul... with your whole being.
That is not to say, I enjoyed every song on the album. The whole CD is in fact 14 new flavors of ice cream. You cant expect to like everything! Yet the experience of knowing something so special and unique, leaves you grateful longer than you expected.
Note: These are not his official music videos. They are however his songs.
Curious enough the label was named after one of their cats named "Sara".
I was introduced to the album "Illinois" back in 2005. The tracks of music would later be called "Album of the Year" by several media resources (Entertainment Weekly, Los Angeles Times, Pitchfork, to name a few).
So what makes this music so special? Very casually I did what anyone would do, I put this unassuming CD into my car stereo. When the first track started, everything in me paused to feel those piano notes slip under my skin. To perform miracles on a cellular level. If music can rewrite your DNA so that you just might have faith again in something beautiful, then you should listen.
But some days it's not enough to listen to music with your ears. Just as it's not enough to hear anything with the fine mechanics of organic ear drums. I think some things should only be processed by your soul... with your whole being.
That is not to say, I enjoyed every song on the album. The whole CD is in fact 14 new flavors of ice cream. You cant expect to like everything! Yet the experience of knowing something so special and unique, leaves you grateful longer than you expected.
Note: These are not his official music videos. They are however his songs.
Friday, September 4, 2009
A small comment on health care
Currently there are plenty of people who are uninsured.
These people have babies, or they are in car accidents, or they simply need care as they age.
The United States, the hospitals, do not turn them down. They get services regardless of their financial situation.
Does anyone really think this is done for FREE?
From my understanding, this is why the price of health insurance is getting so expensive for those that have it. The cost of caring for the uninsured is being tagged onto the price of health insurance.
As the cost for having health insurance increases, the more incapable people are to pay for the plans they have. Leading to more uninsured individuals, and sky rocketing insurance prices. That's just scratching the surface!
Now how can people say that there shouldn't be any kind of health reform?
I guess the question is now, how do we pay for it, and do we support everyone? Including illegal immigrants to people who jeopardise their health daily (examples: Alcoholics, smokers, compulsive fast food eaters, and those who fail to follow doctor orders).
These people have babies, or they are in car accidents, or they simply need care as they age.
The United States, the hospitals, do not turn them down. They get services regardless of their financial situation.
Does anyone really think this is done for FREE?
From my understanding, this is why the price of health insurance is getting so expensive for those that have it. The cost of caring for the uninsured is being tagged onto the price of health insurance.
As the cost for having health insurance increases, the more incapable people are to pay for the plans they have. Leading to more uninsured individuals, and sky rocketing insurance prices. That's just scratching the surface!
Now how can people say that there shouldn't be any kind of health reform?
I guess the question is now, how do we pay for it, and do we support everyone? Including illegal immigrants to people who jeopardise their health daily (examples: Alcoholics, smokers, compulsive fast food eaters, and those who fail to follow doctor orders).
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I hear you texting on the toilet!
Maybe I have to set the scene for you, if the title of this post doesn't imply it.
I had to use the public restroom at the college. As usual you take a quick peak to see which stalls are available. There's only one other girl using a stall. I take the one next to her because the others creeped me out for lack of cleanliness.
Now lets face it. Some people are pretty shy about doing their business with others present. I thought, that this was the case for this neighbor of mine who was strangely quiet and still.
Except for that sound! You know the one... it's not the sound of toilet paper tearing, tampon wrapper shredding, or anything else. It's the sound of someone clicking away on their phone. While they are on the john!
I don't know why but I thought this was worse than texting and driving.
When I was in high school, we didn't have cell phones. Now there is a whole generation defined by their cell phone use. New laws are coming into place because this generation is so plugged into every electrical and digital orifice, that it almost embarrasses me.
We cant even take a dump without twittering someone about it. To put it bluntly.
I see a minion of text messaging zombies, clicking away in class, on the job, and rudely during face to face conversations with someone else. We have so many social networks available to us that we some how feel obligated to tell the whole world our personal life. We are our own paparazzi!
Note: You might want to err on the side of caution next time you ask to borrow someone's phone.
I had to use the public restroom at the college. As usual you take a quick peak to see which stalls are available. There's only one other girl using a stall. I take the one next to her because the others creeped me out for lack of cleanliness.
Now lets face it. Some people are pretty shy about doing their business with others present. I thought, that this was the case for this neighbor of mine who was strangely quiet and still.
Except for that sound! You know the one... it's not the sound of toilet paper tearing, tampon wrapper shredding, or anything else. It's the sound of someone clicking away on their phone. While they are on the john!
I don't know why but I thought this was worse than texting and driving.
When I was in high school, we didn't have cell phones. Now there is a whole generation defined by their cell phone use. New laws are coming into place because this generation is so plugged into every electrical and digital orifice, that it almost embarrasses me.
We cant even take a dump without twittering someone about it. To put it bluntly.
I see a minion of text messaging zombies, clicking away in class, on the job, and rudely during face to face conversations with someone else. We have so many social networks available to us that we some how feel obligated to tell the whole world our personal life. We are our own paparazzi!
Note: You might want to err on the side of caution next time you ask to borrow someone's phone.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Music you should be made aware of
Iron and Wine: Samuel Beam was in Florida getting his Masters in Fine Arts when his music was discovered. Performing with his wife Sarah, they create a timeless and hauntingly fresh take on folk music. The first song I heard was,"The Trapeze Swinger". Opening up with the sound of light wind chimes, instantly transporting you to some gentle and forgotten place.
The song paints a beautiful picture of a cryptic love story. Where images of Heaven, a circus, and youthful play have all waltzed together.
The other song that caught my attention is called "Upward over the Mountain". Samuel almost whispers his lyrics about the complicated relationship between a son and mother. While this is a far cry from any rock balled, the increased instrumentals toward the end of this song capture just how sweet and distilled the emotion is. You can hear various versions of this song as it is often captured live.
In the music video "Southern Anthem" a metaphor for the history of the north and south are played out. Ending with a hope for it's future relationships, and observing generations.
Beirut: Oddly enough "Beirut" is an American band led by Zachary Francis Condon. When he visited Paris he was inspired by Balkan music. This created an old world feel to a modern venue craving an eclectic sound. It's hard to figure out just how many instruments are used in this band, but the end result can only be described as magic.
That is if you enjoy being swept off your feet by something that is untouched by corporate music producers. What "type" of people listen to this unusual band? It's certainly not a brainwashed mass accustomed to their sugary pop music.
Highly romantic, reminiscent of some place you've yet to visit. A few of my favorite songs include: The album version of "Postcards from Italy", Scenic World, and Penalty.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs: So maybe after all this soft folksy, and strange European sounding music you might be wanting something with a faster beat. Many people have heard of the song "Maps" and while I liked the song as well, it wasn't enough for me to be smitten by the band.
The group from New York came out with their most recent album titled "It's Blitz". My brother kindly got me tickets to see this band in action... and I have to say, it's the most fun I've had at a concert. With a giant eyeball watching the crowd from the stage, Karen O never skips a beat!
Highly energised with explosions of confetti, the giant eyeball turns into a full moon for the very somber "Skeletons". If "Siouxsie and the Banshees" and "The Cure", had a child... it might sound something like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
The song paints a beautiful picture of a cryptic love story. Where images of Heaven, a circus, and youthful play have all waltzed together.
The other song that caught my attention is called "Upward over the Mountain". Samuel almost whispers his lyrics about the complicated relationship between a son and mother. While this is a far cry from any rock balled, the increased instrumentals toward the end of this song capture just how sweet and distilled the emotion is. You can hear various versions of this song as it is often captured live.
In the music video "Southern Anthem" a metaphor for the history of the north and south are played out. Ending with a hope for it's future relationships, and observing generations.
Beirut: Oddly enough "Beirut" is an American band led by Zachary Francis Condon. When he visited Paris he was inspired by Balkan music. This created an old world feel to a modern venue craving an eclectic sound. It's hard to figure out just how many instruments are used in this band, but the end result can only be described as magic.
That is if you enjoy being swept off your feet by something that is untouched by corporate music producers. What "type" of people listen to this unusual band? It's certainly not a brainwashed mass accustomed to their sugary pop music.
Highly romantic, reminiscent of some place you've yet to visit. A few of my favorite songs include: The album version of "Postcards from Italy", Scenic World, and Penalty.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs: So maybe after all this soft folksy, and strange European sounding music you might be wanting something with a faster beat. Many people have heard of the song "Maps" and while I liked the song as well, it wasn't enough for me to be smitten by the band.
The group from New York came out with their most recent album titled "It's Blitz". My brother kindly got me tickets to see this band in action... and I have to say, it's the most fun I've had at a concert. With a giant eyeball watching the crowd from the stage, Karen O never skips a beat!
Highly energised with explosions of confetti, the giant eyeball turns into a full moon for the very somber "Skeletons". If "Siouxsie and the Banshees" and "The Cure", had a child... it might sound something like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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